


We'll figure out how to help [You have my word]

by wholesomee_idiott



Series: HC/DSMP drabbles [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Avian Charles | Grian, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Goat Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Working on School, Kinda, Oops, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Loves Bees, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Tubbo deserves to say fuck so i let him, Voidwalker Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF), Winged Charles | Grian, Xisuma is Trying his Best, again kinda??? not good with this type of stuff please dont come for me, and he gets one!!, few curse words, he and tommy really have some bad trust issues wow, is it too early for that one yet??, kinda???, more of in his thoughts, no beta we die like tommy, only a little, please stay safe out there!!, tommy says fuck because, well because hes tommy cmon man, wrote this during the day but..
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29822292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholesomee_idiott/pseuds/wholesomee_idiott
Summary: He took a breath, hands twitching in his lap as he lifted his hands, Tubbo shifting further back as he watched, ears folded back in plain fear, eyes immediately scanning the man’s face as his visor lifted off.There weren't any recognizable features that made his brain think of safety. No features that made him think of any of his friends on the SMP. The look the man wore wasn’t anything of pity, mouth cut in a straight line, expression fairly neutral. Tubbo nearly shivered, squeezing his eyes shut, as he thought of Techo’s neutral expressions.Back in Pogtopia, back when he killed him, back when he unleashed the withers, back in Doomsday-He was shook out of his thoughts, again, with- “ Hey, hey- It’s alright, I’m not going to do anything, you have my word. “-Tommy and Tubbo find themselves stuck in a foreign land without any way back. Maybe that was for the best at this point, with Dream supposedly hunting them down and all and with Lmanberg finally gone. Maybe it was for the best- what were they meant to do next anyways?Not sure if this will be a series or not, this is really just something i wanted to write down
Relationships: Charles | Grian & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Tubbo & Xisumavoid
Series: HC/DSMP drabbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192289
Comments: 6
Kudos: 136





	1. Bees are nice, aren't they?

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO!!! This is my first real fic, p nervous on how I did compared to the average writer. Writing is fun I just,, cannot conjure up a consistent story for the life of me.  
> I’ve been having some major HC/DSMP crossover brainrot recently, and my mind decided to piece together Xisuma’s bee skin and Tubbo’s bee obsession together and went WOAH….  
> Please please dont ship them in this fic!! Any of them for that matter!!! I get it, they’re just the peoples characters n all, but?????? It’s still weird to me, since their ‘characters’ are just kinda,,,, them?? Also Tubbo and Tommy are minors and I believe both said they didnt enjoy being shipped with others anyways so I mean,,
> 
> I’ve read a few HC fics and I really like the voidwalker spin on X. There was a specific fic I read where I believe it stated that X kept his helmet/visor on all the time because the void is denser than the overworld’s air, so his lungs aren’t used to the overworld?? Something like that. I just thought it was really cool and a neat idea and decided to add it in!!
> 
> Not sure what the context for this drabble is, maybe Dream trying to hunt Tubbo and Tommy down and they ended up on HC somehow? I quite like those fics, so maybe I could add onto this one later with that premise!!
> 
> Forgive me if anyone seems like they’re out of character, I haven’t been watching too many of Tubbo’s streams, the same with X’s videos,,
> 
> Gonna try and NOT ramble in the notes anymore, but I do hope you enjoy reading!!  
> Please tell me if you spot any typos or anything, that would be v helpful!!

“ Tubbo what if he stabs you! “ Tommy threw up his arms as he watched his friend pace around the room, chewing on his nails. 

He was supposed to meet up with the server’s admin to discuss what the pair were to do next, now that they've formed some sort of trust. _If you could even call it that… ___

__No matter what Tommy told him, offering to go instead, Tubbo declined, saying he should. If the man were to betray him, he’d want it to happen to him first. He didn’t want Tommy to suffer.  
“ Tommy I really don't think he will. “ He tried to ignore the lingering thought that the man just might and that this was all a trap Dream set up to play around with the pair even more.  
He shook his head, effectively trying to ignore that stupid idea. “ I have to go here, we need to know what's going to happen to us, right? “_ _

__Tommy frowned, crossing his arm. “ What if he lies about that, we don’t know what he’s like. “ He thought for a moment. “ What if it’s all a trap and the whole server decided to jump you? “ The panic was clear in Tommy’s voice, but Tubbo couldn’t help but sigh in exasperation.  
“ Way to take this calmly… I mean, if he does end up lying, some of the others don’t seem very good. They could slip up eventually. “ the goat hybrid shrugged.  
Tommy just watched him for a moment, hands clenching at his sides, before he let out a sigh, eyes glancing down at the floor, voice impossibly small. “ Just be careful, please? “_ _

__Tubbo couldn’t help but give his friend a smile, running forward to quickly wrap him in his arms, the two of them staying like that for a few minutes before Tubbo whispered. “ I promise. “  
He pulled back to start to the door before Tommy pulled him back, grabbing his hand as he placed an iron switchblade in his palm. Tubbo rolled his eyes and looked back at his friend, his friend who just smiled at him with a glint in his dull eyes. “ Just be sure to stab him before he can stab you. “_ _

__Tubbo chuckled, before turning back to the door. He stopped, glancing back at Tommy. “ Maybe you could erm, come with me? For safety reasons. “ he punctuated his sentence with a quick nod, Tommy snickering as he stepped forward, opening the door for the two fo them._ _

__%_ _

__The pair eventually found themselves in the shopping district, after a nice wander around the top of the nether. _No they certainly weren’t lost, not at all. Tommy knew his way around, definitely, stop asking where they were, Tubbo. _  
They spotted the suited admin talking to the weird bird person by the floating shop. _It was so big, how did it even stay supported on the water. _  
Said voidwalker and avian perked up as they spotted the two slowly making their way down the path._____ _

______Both pairs were eventually face to face, Tommy glaring down at both Hermits while Tubbo tried to avoid their gazes._ _ _ _ _ _

______In turn, both Hermits were a thousand times less tense, X’s arms crossed behind his back as he nodded to the pair, the avian- what was his name again, Tubbo thought. Didn’t start with a g….? Grain, maybe? He’s certainly heard stranger names before- The avian bounced on the heels of his feet, glancing over at the admin as he spoke._ _ _ _ _ _

______“ Hello you two, “ the voidwalker nodded in greeting while the avian gave the two a smile. Tommy and Tubbo simply stood there, silently. The other two didn’t seem phased by the lack of response. Xisuma looked towards Tubbo. “ You came here to discuss what's to happen during your visit, right? “_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tubbo nodded numbly, resisting the urge to hide behind Tommy as the admin’s gaze bore into him._ _ _ _ _ _

______The avian just glanced between the two parties, sensing the tension. It seemed like Tommy recognized it as well, adapting a more protective stance in front of Tubbo.  
Xisuma noticed as well, looking over to Grian as he tried to relax his stance more. “ Do you think you could escort Tommy out? “ The latter of which panicked at the phrase, though it went generally unnoticed by the Hermits._ _ _ _ _ _

______Grian nodded to the admin, gesturing for Tommy to follow as he made his way towards the portal. Tubbo dully watched the two leave, a spike of pain in his chest as he realized how familiar the scene looked. _The look Tommy shot back at him as they stepped into the portal...The same look as he stood atop that wall in the rain… _  
He looked back at the admin as he realized he was waiting for him, looking back down at the path in front of him. The voidwalker just tilted his head.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“ Are you alright? “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His voice didn’t sound dangerous, but neither did Dream’s at the start. He shook his head, hands clenching at his sides as he stuck them in his pockets.  
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. “ He lied, hoping it was convincing enough.  
Even if it wasn't, the admin didn't say anything about it, lowering his hands to his sides._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________%_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The two chatted for a bit. If their method of chatting was mainly X asking Tubbo about various different things, in which Tubbo didn't even bother with a verbal response most of the time. Even then it was just quiet yes or no’s. _Absolutely nothing concerning their stay here. Was he biding his time? _____ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The voidwalker looked down at the smaller, tilting his head and offering the kid a smile underneath his helmet. “ I’ve heard you like bees right? “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Tubbo’s eyes glanced to the insect’s design on his visor, trying to avoid the man’s eyes. That was nearly impossible, but it didn’t stop him from trying as he tried to think of the right answer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________If he said yes would he use it against him later?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Would he think his obsession was dumb, more than anything?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Tubbo wasn’t dumb, people might’ve thought that, but it just wasn’t right. Would the man do both?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He couldn’t see how bees could link to Tommy, he never really had the same admiration for them as Tubbo, so he’d probably be safe at least. More attention direction onto Tubbo, away from Tommy. It was the least he could do to make for him, especially after his last exile. Tubbo tugged at his hair, biting his lip. _Ender, why did he ex- _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“ Hey, you alright? “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He was snapped out of his thoughts, flinching back as he realized how close the man had gotten, kneeling down to sit on his level after he had fallen- when had he fallen down?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Tubbo never let go of his hair, a deer in headlights as he stared up at the voidwalker with wide eyes. Xisuma reeled back his outstretched hand as the goat hybrid flinched back, hands resting on his knees as he lowered onto a batter position on the ground, scooting back to give the kid space. After a few moments, the man started to take obnoxiously large breaths. It confused Tubbo before he realized what he was doing exactly, following his breaths best he could._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________A few minutes passed where the two of them didn't speak, Xisuma simply waiting for Tubbo to calm, and in turn, Tubbo simply waiting for the man to make his next move. He didn't have any gear on him, no weapons, no armor. No, he had the knife Tommy had given him, but he wasn’t sure. He wasn't sure he was even capable of forming coherent thoughts at the moment. He felt completely frozen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________A few more minutes passed before the voidwalker spoke up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“ I’m not sure if you can answer my question now, but… “ he took a breath, hands twitching in his lap as he lifted his hands, Tubbo shifting further back as he watched, ears folded back in plain fear, eyes immediately scanning the man’s face as his visor lifted off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There weren't any recognizable features that made his brain think of safety. No features that made him think of any of his friends on the SMP. The look the man wore wasn’t anything of pity, mouth cut in a straight line, expression fairly neutral. Tubbo nearly shivered, squeezing his eyes shut, as he thought of Techo’s neutral expressions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Back in Pogtopia, back when he killed him, back when he unleashed the withers, back in Doomsday- ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He was shook out of his thoughts, again, with- “ Hey, hey- It’s alright, I’m not going to do anything, you have my word. “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________His voice was so painfully sincere, his words so beautifully fake, that Tubbo couldn’t help but open his eyes, trying to push down that spark of hope that rose in his chest, his eyes slowly drifting back up to the voidwalker’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The voidwalker, who sported a small smile now, dipped his head as his eyes flicked down to the bee styled helmet resting in his hands. He held it out to the kid, movements slow. “ I think I heard you liked bees from someone one time, “ _Probably Tommy slipping up, Tubbo joked to himself. Or could the man have used his admin abilities to figure that out. He wasn’t sure what an admin’s powers were limited to, It’s not like Dream would ever tell them… _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“ And I know it isn’t the most... coziest of items…. “ The man paused, shaking his head. “ But if it might be comforting, “ he punctuated his sentence by thrusting the visor out a bit further, a full offer for Tubbo to take it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________And oh Ender, he did. He really did. Just the issue that Tubbo didn’t fully trust the man at all. Stuck with an unfamiliar man in an unfamiliar land, he wasn’t sure what was even possible here for fucks sake! It was so different from the SMP, nothing was similar at all, and it kept throwing him off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________But the kind look in the voidwalker’s eyes, the everlasting desire for just someone to keep him safe, to make him feel secure at least just a little bit, it was painful. But so would being betrayed by him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Slowly, Tubbo reached out to take it, deciding it was worth it for Tommy’s sake, staring down at the familiar bee face through teary eyes.  
He didn’t look back up to thank the man, though it didn’t seem like he was looking for any sort of response as he smiled at the kid. “ I know your admin wasn’t…the greatest, “ _Understatement of the century, Tubbo snotted to himself. _“ But I want you to know I will try my best here. Me and the rest of the hermits, we’ll keep you safe here until we figure out where to go next, you have my word there. “___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________His words were simple, though Tubbo couldn’t help but think they had a different meaning from what the admin indtending. A few more minutes passed in silence, before Tubbo spoke up.  
“ I don’t trust you, but since I have literally no power here whatsoever, I’m counting on you to please not betray us, “ his voice was quiet, squeezing tightly onto the bee helmet as he tried to curl around it for any sense of comfort. “ Please don’t betray Tommy, “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Xisuma just watched Tubbo for a moment, giving him a firm nod. “ I would never dream of it. “  
More time passed where the two of them just sat like that, Tubbo curled around the helmet as he stared down at the familiar look of the bee and Xisuma sitting cross legged a few ways away from him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It seemed like Tubbo was just waiting for the man to make his move again at this point, but he didn’t do anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Literally nothing, as Tubbo started to relax, sitting up as he fidgeted with the helmet.  
He could’ve sworn he heard the man cough at one point, but he was so out of it and just plain confused at this point, he wasn’t sure if he was imagining it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Eventually, after what felt like a lifetime, the voidwalker stood up, eyes glanced up to the sky.He looked back down at Tubbo and offered him a hand. “ It’s getting a bit late now, I don’t want to keep you out here too long. “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tubbo eyed his gloved hand warily, but finally took it in his and pulled himself off the ground, trying not to stumble on his wobbly legs and fall back down. Xisuma quickly supported him and held the kid up, tilting his head. “ You alright there? “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tubbo just nodded, grip tightening on the helmet, still in both hands. The taller man glanced down at it, panic rising in Tubbos chest. Oh, he needed to give it back, right...Did he hold onto it for too long? _Did he handle it wrong at all? Did- _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________For the third time that day, his spiraling thoughts were yet again interrupted by another’s voice. “ It's alright, you can hold onto it for a bit. It is a nice helmet. “ He mused with a smile, nodding at the visor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Tubbo just stared up at him with a strange expression. He really had no clue what to think about the man anymore, he just wanted to sleep. He just wanted Tommy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The goat hybrid just slowly nodded, numbly following the admin as they drifted back to the district’s nether portal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The two eventually split up, Tubbo making his way back to his and Tommy’s little home, closing the door behind him as he started to zone out, thinking back on the day. Did he really waste the entire time panicking? In front of the admin no less? Ender, maybe he really was dumb…  
A familiar face poked around the corner in front of him, dull blue eyes lighting up at the sight of him. Upon seeing the state of his friend, he quickly wrapped him in a hug, Tubbo abandoning the helmet to wrap his arms around Tommy. The two stood like that for a while, before the inevitable “ What did he do to you? “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Tommy’s voice held some poorly disguised fear and anger, but it was laced with enough kindness that made Tubbo smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“ Nothing. Gave me his helmet, painted it like a bee. “ he let out a chuckle, tightening his grip around Tommy. “ He’s a very confusing admin…” Tubbo concluded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Tommy just listened to his words, looking at the helmet from over Tubbo’s shoulders. “ Well, now we have some sort of blackmail if he ever tries anything? “ _A weak idea, he could probably just make a new helmet, they both thought. _Tubbo sighed, lowering his arms as he went to pick up the visor, bee face staring back at him. “ I don’t know, he seemed to genuinely want to protect us…” “ But so has everyone else who betrayed us. “ Tommy finished for him, Tubbo nodding dully.  
The two stood in silence before Tubbo let out a yawn. Tommy, who let out a yawn after him, gave Tubbo an offended look before tackling him, Tubbo letting out a surprised bleat. “ You made me yawn you fucker, I wasn’t even tired! “  
Tubbo just let out a giggle, tackling Tommy back, the pair rolling across the floor as they laughed.  
%  
Tubbo softly headbutted his friend’s chest as they settled down on the couch, arms and legs tangled together as they confided in each other's warmth and safety. Despite his claim from earlier, Tommy was out like a light as soon as the two of them were comfortable.  
Tubbo stayed up thinking back on the day, blinking slowly as he stifled another yawn. His eyes drifted back to the helmet resting on the floor on the other side of the room. Maybe the admin wasn’t as bad as he thought, was his last coherent thought as he drifted into a dreamless sleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ______


	2. im in need of assistance(but i dont want to admit it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy pov of the first chapter, and what he and Grian did together,,  
> TW for a panic attack, flashbacks, and self harm later in the chapter. Though the self harm is just scratching, i wanted to put it out there anyways, better safe than sorry!! stay safe out there!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god oh god, in the midst of trying to write new chapters, i realized how much of a motivation boost i was running on while working on the first chapter ouch. What a difference man, hopefully my writing didnt change at all and its still consistent,,
> 
> Wanted to write some povs for the rest of the characters, so we’ll be picking up with a Tommy chapter!! I’ll write the Hermit’s povs afterwards
> 
> If i missed any sort of tw or if there's any typos please let me know!! That would be v swag and helpful, thankyou <3

To say that Tommy was concerned for Tubbo going out on his own with the admin was a complete and utter understatement. They weren’t sure what dream was completely capable of, who’s to say this void person wasn’t worse than him?

He tried not to let his mind drift back to those months during exile, what Dream did to him. He didn’t want to think back on that anymore.

He had every intent on protecting his friend, even if it cost him his last life, because goddammit he didn’t know if the admin was telling the truth when he said they had unlimited lives here. _ _He didn’t want to get his hopes up. S__ o when the pair stepped down from the portal, shunning their eyes from the sun as they stepped out, and laid gaze upon the admin and another hermit chatting, Tommy definitely did ___not___ tense up. No, he was just trying to look bigger, that's all. _He’s a big man._

Literally, he was glad he pretty much towered over nearly everyone here again, added points to his intimidation factor.

He kept the hermit in red in his field of vision, but otherwise he decided glaring at the admin was a good enough idea. If only the asshole would stop staring down Tubbo for fucks sake…

Distantly, he was aware the man had said something, though he wasn’t paying too much attention. He assumed the question was directed at Tubbo anyways, the goat hybrid nodding as he began to slip behind Tommy. And somehow, Tommy managed not to falter in his stance, even as Tubbo moved to cower behind him. And if he’s being honest, a part of him wanted to do that same. Though he would never admit it of course.

A few minutes passed in tense silence, and Tommy was second guessing his decision. Would the admin challenge him if he didnt stop? Could he stop? He would be called weak if he did, wouldn’t he?...

A few more moments, before the voidwalker spoke up again, turning to the other hermit next to him. Shit, he had forgotten about him.

“ Grian, “ Weird name- "do you think you could escort Tommy out? “

And now there's a phrase Tommy wished he would never hear again.

His breath caught in his throat, fists clenching at his sides as he tried to ground himself, desperately wishing he didn’t wander back to that dark place in his mind. He spared a glance to the winged hermit- Grian, his mind supplied. Names were important, good to know whos who in this place- who had nodded to the voidwalker, turning to Tommy and motioning for him to follow, the latter of which obeyed numbly.

He kept his eyes on the path in front of him, clenching and unclenching his fists the whole time. The pair stepped into the portal where he looked up to meet Tubbo’s eyes, both of whom shared a look of panic.

And in a matter of seconds, they were teleported to the nether roof, Tommy staring at his shoes blankly as they stepped out of the portal.

Grian didn't say anything, just watching Tommy for a moment. Kinda weirdchamp, Tommy thought.

The two stayed silent before the smaller turned towards the other, wings fluttering behind him as he moved. “ Well… I’d really hate to leave you to get back to your base on your own. Since you don’t know the server as well and all yet. Don’t want you getting lost and hurting yourself. “

The avian gave Tommy a smile as he spoke, though Tommy didn’t seem to process many ____________of his words, even the one she did pick up weren’t enough to form a real, comprehndale sentence.____________

____________No, his mind was too preoccupied with all the thoughts running through his head, trying to decipher all the indescribable emotions that ran through his body. Anger? Pain? Sadness? A cruel mixture of the three? He didn’t even know what to be angry, or sad at. All he could make sense of was the constricting feeling in his chest, his lungs aching from phantom pains._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Tommy inhaled a shaky breath, wiping his hands on his jeans as he tried to avoid looking back at the avian.

It didn’t sound like Grian had continued talking at all. Infact, it looked like he had gone still, which was never a good thing, Tommy knew.

He couldn't see his face, his head downcast as he stared at the bedrock.

The quiet was nice. A bit awkward, but it gave him a chance to ground himself again. He took another shaky breath, moving to stuff his hands in his pockets as he tried to summon the courage to look at the man again.

Well, at least he tried.

Tommy immediately panicked as he lifted his head, the first thing he saw being a hand reaching out towards him.

Well intentioned or not, Tommy flinched back, back slamming against the obsidian as he stared at the man with wide eyes, sliding down the side of the portal.

The avian stared back at Tommy with equally as wide eyes, hand hovering in the air. He glanced at it, then to Tommy, before quickly shoving it back to his side, furrowing his eyebrows in concern as he panicked.

“ Ender, I’m so sorry I didn’t think- “

Tommy just took another breath, trying to get his trembling form under control as he stood back up, nearly falling back down in the process. He managed to stay upright, but his mind definitely wasn’t back.

____________**TW: panic attacks, self harm **  
****____________All he could think about was how hot the nether roof was. It expanded infinitely, yet it felt like something was closing in on him. The phantom pains in his lungs exploded again, making him crumble back onto the floor.

Exploded just like Dream taking away his hard work. Exploded just like his home, three times over. Exploded like Tubbo did on the day of the festival. And oh Ender it was too much- Someone was talking, standing above them, but he couldn’t make sense of their words. Dream- oh shit Dream.

He sputtered out half formed apologies, words slurring together as tears poured down his face. _Oh when did he start crying?_

He didn’t know, but everything hurt, everything felt hot and _suffocating_.

He clamped his jaw shut as he let out a wet sob, fingernails scratching at his face as he tried to get the tears to stop, cheeks burning. Dream didn’t like it when he cried, when he was too noisy.

There was a hissing sound- more TNT his mind supplied, Dreams angry again-and Tommy whimpered, trying to curl up into a ball against the portal. _He didn't want his stuff blown up again, please please pleasepleaseplease_

The hissing eventually toned down into a soft shushing, gentle words filling his ears as he tried to calm himself.

“-my, Tommy, I’m not going to hurt you, It’s alright, you’re safe here. Breathe Tommy, its’ okay “

The teen just shook his head, burying his face into his knees as he covered his head protectively with his arms. No where was safe, no where was safe-

His mantra was interrupted with- “ It’s okay, you’re here in Hermitcraft, Dream isn’t here. He’s not here, you’re safe, breathe. “

Tommy just listened to the person’s words as he sucked in large breaths, more sobs escaping him. Eventually he managed to lift his head enough to peer over his knees at the person in front of him.

**TW end**

His eyes were blurry, tears still falling as he continued to contain his sobbing. He did manage to recognize the soft, light colored wings behind their back, his mind only supplying one thing- _“ Dad? ”_

His throat hurt. He tried clearing it but quickly ended up in a coughing fit. He panted as his father scrambled over to help him, reveling in the contact, and leaning into the man’s warmth, the latter of which tensed but....Ender he was so tired.

Tommy kept taking large breaths as he calmed down, eventually following the exaggerated breathing patterns of his father. He missed him so much...What was he even doing here? <

“ Phil- _Da-dad, “_ His voice cracked, throat still strained. “ I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’msorr _yI’msorryI’msorry- “_

The man shushed him again, wrapping a wing around Tommy’s body. “ I’m not- I’m not Phil but everything's okay- you’re okay Tommy, “

Tommy blinked, glancing up at the man again through his tears. He froze, tensing up as he realized that this was not in fact Phil, letting out a groan as he buried his face back into his knees The man literally has a bright red sweater. Why did he ever mistake him for Phil with his forest greens?

Grian just gave the teen a smile, wing still wrapped around his body. Tommy sulked in silence before the man spoke up. “ Is this okay? “ He felt the man gesture towards something, feet fidgeting under his crossed legs as the avian’s wing shifted over his back. Tommy just nodded, sniffling in as he tightened his arms around his legs.

A few more minutes of silence before Grian’s voice popped up again, surprisingly soft. “ I’m- I’m really sorry, about earlier. Are you alright Tommy? “ No that was fucking embarrassing, he thought. Way to not show weakness.

He sounded plenty sincere to the teen but...so had everyone else who hurt him. He gave the man a nod nonetheless, spreading his legs out in front of his as he wiped his cheeks with his sleeve.

The two sat there on top of the nether for a while before Tommy let out a sigh, moving to stand up as he grumbled. _“ It’s fuckin hot up ‘ere. “_

He stumbled over his feet, looking away as Grian helped him up. The avian flashed him a soft smile, wings fluttering behind him. “ Did you still want me coming along with you at all? “ >

His voice sounded concerned, but Tommy couldn’t help but think it was just laced with pity instead. He shook his head, wiping his hands against his pants. “ No thanks, I can make it. “ He winced at how hoarse his voice sounded, biting his lip as he started making his way towards he and Tubbo’s portal.

“ Hey! “ Grian’s voice called out from behind him and Tommy suppressed a sigh, glancing back at the avian with a frown, the latter of which gave him another friendly smile.

“ Your communicator works alright, doesn’t it? “ He nodded, watching as the man’s eyes brightened up even more. “ Be sure to call for any one of us, and we’ll help you, alright? No shenanigans “ And Tommy…

Tommy found himself believing him, in one way or another. He wasn’t too sure about that last part, coming from the infamous server trickster but....he hadn’t hit him during his outburst at all, he did actually seem concerned… He shook his head, frowning to himself.

“ Yeah, sure okay. “ He tried to make his voice more relaxed and flat, trying to summon his inner Technoblade, though as he walked away he couldn’t help but believe that things weren’t ass bad as he made them out to be.

%  
By the time Tommy returned to their shack, he let out a long sigh with a range of different emotions behind it. He buried his face in his hands as he collapsed onto the couch up against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chin as he pulled out his communicator.

He scrolled past old conversations the Hermits took part in on the public chat, before swiping to the private ones. He tilted his head on his knee as he stared at Grian’s name, lips pursing as he thought back to the day’s events. He buried his face back into his hands as he remembered calling the man dad as he mistook him for Phil. _He was never living that down._

The creak of the front door caught his attention, the teen’s head snapping up as light footsteps tapped into the front room. Tommy placed his communicator on the couch, poking his head round the corner, mood brightening as he spotted his best friend. _Why did he have the admin’s helmet? Did Tubbo mug him? Good on him, good on him._

His mood immediately declined as he saw the look on his friends face, physical and emotional wise. His whole face was red, mouth drawn in a firm line, and Tommy saw red.

He rushed over to the goat hybrid, enveloping the smaller in a crushing hug, standing like that before he let out a shaky. _“ What did he do to you? “_

Tubbo tensed up under his arms, shaking his head as he looked up at Tommy, mouth morphing into a smile as he denied the admin did anything, Tommy didn’t doubt his friend was telling the truth but...he didn’t know what the man’s end goal was just yet.

The pair stayed together for the rest of the evening, the setting sun casting a soft orange light into the hut. The two laughed together as Tommy tackled Tubbo onto the ground, rolling him around in retaliation for making him yawn. _Seriously, he wasn’t even that tired yet, cmon._ The two piled on top of one another as they settled down for the night, silver light shining through the windows, Tommy’s drifting off as soon as he hit the couch. _Okay maybe he was tired…_

And maybe- maybe this place wasn’t so bad. He got to make up for lost time with his friend. He didn’t have to worry about Dream breathing down his back for the time being. It was...a nice breather, a time to relax for once. It was Tommy and Tubbo, against the world once more.


End file.
